and all I can hear is
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

I went to this site where you chat anonymously with a random stranger.(omegle.com it's so much fun) I roleplayed as italy, here are the convos (You is me):

1.
You: Hi!
Stranger: Hello there
You: How'sit?
Stranger: fine, pretty boring
Stranger: yourself?
You: OH I want some pasta :c Can you make me some, since you're bored?
Stranger: nah, the fridge is empty..
You: ...AWWWWW nooooo
You: how can you have an empty fridgeee
Stranger: cause i ate all the stuff?
Stranger: lol
You: Well buy some mooore
Stranger: yeah i should
Stranger: but its a bit late over here
You: awwh
You: well pick some tomatoes in the backyard?
Stranger: afraid i don't have any in my backyard
You: ...Whaaaaat you're weiird
Stranger: because i don't have tomatoes in the backyard?
You: yeees I thought everyone did...
You: bro spain has tomatoes everywhere
Stranger: well, i'm not in spain
You: Well ofcourse you're not, silly. you can't be IN spain... that would be gross
Stranger: well, i'm not FROM spain either
You: Spain can't birth children, so you can't be from spain, ve~
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


2.
You: hi!
Stranger: hello hello hello
Stranger: how are you random stranger?
You: I'm great, ve~. and you?
Stranger: wow great.. good to hear, or read. im pretty dandy ta
Stranger: so what country are my words reaching?
You: Italy~
Stranger: oh la la
Stranger: thats french..
You: Ooh you're france?
Stranger: no i just like saying oh lala..
You: Oh
Stranger: im english sorry to dissapoint
You: AAAh englaaand
You: don't hurt me please
Stranger: yaaars daaaarling
Stranger: its ok il keep my sarcastic wonkey toothed english comments to myself
You: O-ok
You: ;u;
Stranger: so are you a malio or femme?
You: male -u-
Stranger: i am a fully blown femme last time i checked
You: .....you are?
Stranger: femme fatale
Stranger: ci
You: ...ooh
You: I thought...
Stranger: do you have a sexy italien name?
Stranger: or italian
You: Aah I don't know.. Feliciano Vargas
Stranger: wow thats purdy italian if you ask me
You: Ah Grazie
Stranger: my name's french..
Stranger: genevieve cartez
Stranger: no shit
You: Ohh so oh I get it now
You: do you want to come over for pasta some day?
Stranger: yeah sure.. just hold the parmesan that stuff gives me terrible indigestion
You: ...keeeeeh. okay... but you gotta try the tomatosauce
Stranger: maybe we can do some flamenco dancing to work the pasta carbs off?
Stranger: its a date mate
You: Ohh yeah!!
You: I'm so excited
Stranger: maybe i can teach you how to make a mean cuppa and talk about the weather for eight hours?
You: Veeeee~ sure! I love to talk about weather!
You: Maybe we can visit bro Spain
Stranger: cool il get a double flight ticket.. and you can visit me in sunny brighton and i can show you al the exciting touristy landmarks
Stranger: like the slightly leaning lampost and the tramp who will dance for ten pence
You: OOoh
Stranger: and chewing gum alley where you can walk two steps without getting stuck to the pavement
You: that sounds like lots of fun!
Stranger: oh you dont know fun til you've seen the west pier which is crumbling into the sea
Stranger: and seagulls choking on condoms
Stranger: dude it has it all
You: Ohh what's a condom
You: it sounds like a bird...
Stranger: basically.. if you want to make babies... you dont need to worry about them
You: Birds choking on birds... is weird
You: Oh
You: I see
Stranger: not in brighton town
You: so they steal children
You: these birds
Stranger: yes exactly
You: *strokes chin*
Stranger: they steal them and mince em up and sell em as burgers in a very gourmet burger van at the side of the m25
Stranger: its good stuff.. real nutricious
You: .... I'm scared now...
You: Aaaaah
Stranger: haha dont be
You: poor babies
Stranger: if your over 5 youre ok
Stranger: are you over 5?
You: Ohh ok
You: yeah
You: I
You: *counts on fingers*
You: I th-think so
Stranger: its ok kids who can count taste better so you're safe
Stranger: more meat on the brains
You: Oh Ok Vee~
Stranger: vee~?
Stranger: i understand not
You: eeh It's a sound I like to make
Stranger: ooooh
Stranger: see i thought that squiggly line was just keyboard decoration
Stranger: id like to hear that sound one day
Stranger: maybe you can do it over dinner?
You: Oh O- I most certainly can!
Stranger: im sure it sounds just swell with a mouthfull of pasta
You: *salutes*
Stranger: hehe
You: It truly does, bella donna!
Stranger: so do you have an imagination???????
You: OH YES
You: I
You: think...
You: so
You: D:
You: I'm unsure now
Stranger: becaaaaaaaause
Stranger: its beddybyes time in my dimension and i was wondering if you could tell me a bedtime story???
You: OOOH
You: OK
You: once upon a time there was a princess, his name was lovino
Stranger: a male princess???
You: he married Antonio and they lived happily ever after
You: yes
Stranger: that is imaginative!
You: YAAY
Stranger: wow thats #sniff# so beautiful
Stranger: im gonna have sweet sweet dreams
You: Veeee~I'm so glad you liked it~
You: have sweet dreams~
Stranger: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3.
Stranger: hi
You: hi!
Stranger: how are you
You: I'm hungry. Can you make me some pasta?
Stranger: sure where do you live?
You: Italy, vee~
Stranger: oh im in America
Stranger: boy or girl?
You: uh.... Boy... I think... I'm not sure... want me to check?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: i need to know
You: *checks*
You: Boy.
Stranger: oh good
Stranger: you want to pork me?
You: huh?
You: like... put a pig on you?
Stranger: have sex with me
You: OH... I'm not sure... I'm still a virgin...
Stranger: oh well im both girl and boy
Stranger: so i can use my dick in your ass and you can put your dick all over me
Stranger: wherever you want
You: Oooh I see... But then I would be so unsure of where to put it...
You: can't we just eat pasta instead?
Stranger: well i have a vag
Stranger: no
Stranger: ill eat your dick though
You: AAAAH Whaaat /sobsob
You: I want to eat pasta ;n;
Stranger: your lame then
You: MAKE PASTA, NOT LOVE
Stranger: whatever im horny as hell and you cant even help me out
Stranger: thanks a fucking lot
You: vee˙
Stranger: IM GOING TO KILL YOU
You: you're welcome
You: WHA
You: WHY
You: D:
Stranger: I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN
You: Ohnooo~
Stranger: and rape and then ill blow your fucking head off
Stranger: bitch!
You: No please dooon't
You: my brother will get mad at mee
Stranger: i have a tracker on you right now!
You: AAaah what should I dooo
You: I'm so scaaared
Stranger: eat me and fuck me
Stranger: thats what
You: You're scaring me... so I'm gonna go...
You: byee
You have disconnected.

stolen from
Rules:
1) go to UrbanDictionary.com and type in your answers to the questions
2) post the first definition it gives you
3) tag three people

1. Your name?
Tove:
To be a boy 17 years of age drugged and raped by a doctor in a mental institution.

2. Age?
15:
Another word for when you or someone else farts.

3. One of your friends?
Linnéa:
A succubus from hell sent to stamp on the heart of young innocent boys. The only known way to defeat a Linnea is to remove its vagina through a complex surgical procedure.

4. What should you be doing right now?
Reading:
1. What boring people do to get more boring.
2. A waste of time
3. A way of knowing what films are about without actually getting the fun of watching the film.
4. A crap football team with a legend owner
5. The greatest rock festival in the world (see reading festival)

5. Favourite Colour?
white:
A street name for cocaine.

6. Birthplace?
Katrineholm:
Is a small sucky town about 15 miles from Stockholm the capital of Sweden. During the summer people enjoy the fruits of nature and sometimes they even slam the ham of an pig. The citizens of Katrineholm is manily consisting of Africans and Turks there by the Criminal society florish amongst the people. The drugs and prostitutes are also one big part of Katrineholm.
(I haven't seen any prostitues...)

7. Month of birth?
February:
The best month ever.. every person born in this month is a true pimp and gets all the guys/girls.

8. Last person you talked to?
Terje:
A Norwegian form for homosexual hip-hop.
Can also be used as a name, but that is used as a insult when the parents hate their child.
(hhhhhhh... ilu ud.)

9. One of your nicknames?
Choco:
To motor boat one's butt crack; Moving one's lips and nose back and for vigorlous in partners butt crack.

10. Favourite Food?
Pancakes:
When someone has huge nipples.

paranormal activity.
IT was GROSS. Well during the whole movie it was all about anticipation, but afterwards... oh shishi.
Don't watch it if you're even the tiniest bit paranoid.
I usually am alot when it's dark. DFfkgf the most grossest thing was that the thing was invisible.
ew
ew
ew
ew
I wanna see the other ending though, the theater one was boring.
I read on wiki that there was a more creepy ending. I want to see it.

word again

Your INNER NATIONALITY:

● B R I T I S H ○●

[ ] You drink a lot of tea.
[ ] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win xFactor. (why Ben?)
[ ] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[X] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[ ] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[X] It's football... not soccer.

Total: 2



○● A U S T R A L I A N ○●

[ ] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flip flops "thongs", not flip flops.
[ ] You love a backyard Barbie. (Backyard babies. Learn awesome bands faaa-gt)
[ ] You know a Barbie is not a doll.
[x] You love the beach.
[ ] sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You're a sports fanatic
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You're a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an Australian something.

Total: 1


○● I T A L I A N ○●

[ ] The Sopranos is a great show.
[ ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[ ] Your grandmother makes her own sauces. (My grannies died before I got the chance to know them)
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes. (SWEDISH ONES, FUCKYEAH)
[ ] You know Italian songs.
[x] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[ ] You speak some Italian.
[ ] You are under 5'10". (d'awwww)
[ ] You know what an Italian horn is.
[ ] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!
[x] You talk a lot with your hands. (When I'm upset I like to do italian and british gestures.)

Total: 3


○● S P A N I S H ○●

[ ] You say member instead of Remember. (From my knowledge of R18 fanfiction, member is something you put in your mouth)
[x] You speak Spanish. ( I say Que and si alot, but that can also be french. Si is if, If I member correctly.)
[x] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr. (jajajajajajajajaja)
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[ ] You know what a Puta is.
[ ] You talk fast occasionally.
[ ] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.

Total: 2


○● R U S S I A N ○●

[ ] You say villain as: Vee-lon.
[ ] You get short tempered.
[x] You know of somebody named Natasha. (Bedingfeild)
[ ] You get cold easily. (WAT)
[X] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[x] You can easily make do with the cold weather.

Total: 3


○● I R I S H ○●
[ ] You think beer is the best. (liquid poop)
[ ] You have a bad temper.
[x] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murphy, O', Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y or L.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the colour green.
[ ] You have been to a St. Patty's day party.
[ }You have a family member from Ireland.
[ ] You have red hair.
[x] You have/had freckles. (on my nose if I stay out in the sun too long)
[x] Your family get together always includes drinking and singing. (NUBBE yes. Dskdfj wiki it. idk swedish thing. You drink hard liqour in shots and sing songs. Dad likes wild rover)

Total: 5


○● A F R I C A N A M E R I C A N ○●

[ ] You say nigganukka casually. ( that would cause people to think of me as racist)
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[ ] You like rap.
[x] You know how to shoot a gun. (duh)
[ ] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[ ] You like chicken.
[ ] You like watermelon.
[ ] You can dance.
[x] You can sing gospel.

Total: 2 (man mr survey, you are so fn racist. That didn't make any sense. this whole thing doesn't)


○● A S I A N ○●

[ ] You have slanty-small eyes.
[x] You like rice a lot. (FUCKYEAH thai food and rice)
[/] You are good at math. (some)
[/] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from Asia.
[/] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you're Chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.

Total: 2,5


○● G E R M A N ○●

[X] You like bread. (...what kind of person doesn't)
[ ] You think German Chocolate is good.
[x] You speak some German. (Ich bin ein berliner)
[x] You know what Schnitzel is. ( cough)
[ ] You hate it when stupid people call you. (WAt)
[x] You went to Pre-school (uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh )
[x] You're over 5'2".

Total: 5


○● C A N A D I A N ○●

[ ] You like/play/played hockey.
[ ] You love beer.
[x] You say eh. (Yeah but I go eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh when I think and I pronounce it ööööööööööh)
[ ] You know what poutine is.
[x] You speak some French
[ ] You love Tim Horton's.
[x] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ] You watch/watched Degrassi.

Total: 3


○● A M E R I C A N ○●

[ ] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non-Christians. (..cough. there are plenty other religions in usa tyvm)
[x] You're lazy. ( oh so all americans are lazy)
[ ] You have had an abortion.
[ ] But love the penalty.
[ ] You don't read.
[ ] You shop at Wal-Mart.
[x] You think this survey is rather biased. ( that's an understatement. post scriptum Africanamerican is not a nationality.)

Total: 2


○● B E L G I A N ○●

[ ] You grow some small vegetables in the yard.
[X] You like french fries.
[x] You think Belgian chocolate rules.
[ ] You know that the official best beer in the world' is Belgian.
[ ] You speak both Dutch and French.
[ ] You like Belgian waffles.
[x] You call a pub or bar a café.
[x] You fully realize and acknowledge that your football team sucks. ( not really but I think so)
[ ] You drive/own a French or German car.
[ ] You have a lot of comments on your government.

Total: 4


○● D U T C H ○●

[ ] You like the colour orange.
[ ] You are a football enthusiast.
[ ] You often go to 'coffee shops'.
[x] You know what is meant by 'coffee shops'.
[ ] You tend to overreact and show your emotions.
[ ] You have a cheerful nature.
[x] You like the sea.
[ ] You are good at building handi-work projects.
[ ] You tend to favour the megalomania.

Total: 2


○● A R A B ○●

[ ] You are a patriot.
[ ] You say "3ngleezy" instead of "English".
[ ] You laugh at other accents, especially Egyptian.
[ ] You beckon at things with you forehead or eyes.
[ ] You like seafood, especially fish, more than any other type of food.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You have a black hair.
[ ] Your last name starts with " Al " or " bin "
[ ] you like showing off, especially with new cars and clothes.
[ ] You dislike reading.

Total:

CHOCONALITY

[X] you think this survey is racist AND "biased".

total: 123455321245545
Congrats, you're a you. (wow. ty)